Godfrey "Ucar" Chitalu

These past few weeks the Africa Cup of Nations has really grabbed my attention and has brought me back to very fond memories of where my love of the sport began.


At the age of 11 I had never played the game nor had I probably watched it. Growing up in Montreal meant 3 things, Habs, Expos and Allouettes period. I played all three sports at that point in my life and I very much enjoyed playing sports. We lived a middle class existence on the West Island, my Dad working for CN and my Mom a stay at home Mom. Then the opportunity of a lifetime was presented to us and Dad was offered the chance to go to Zambia to work with Zambia Railways.


I can remember the family meeting that took place in our living room where we were told that this was going to happen. We were all actually quite excited but I had a reservation, I don't imagine they play hockey, do they?


We arrived in Kabwe in August of 1972.


Zambia had gained its Independence in October 1964 and was going through the growing pains that happen when you become a new Nation, it still is like most third world countries ravaged by imperialism (do not get me started please). I will not make this a political diatribe. It was and I imagine still is a wondrous place, the people welcoming and friendly, I can actually imagine the smell of the air and the warmth of it today.



I developed great friendships with a spectrum of other young tweens and teens as our time there passed and went through all the great things one does growing up as a teenager. I played Softball Sables club and tried to talk the men into letting me play Rugby with them. Yes there was not any hockey to be found.

I think back very fondly of the friendships that I had and because we left in 1978 there was no internet that would have made it easy to stay in touch. I have often wondered what might have been if there was and I had been able to keep in touch with the friends I had. Through the wonders of facebook I have reconnected with some of these friends and feel so blessed that it has been possible.

It was in Zambia that most of the things you experience as a young man happened: Lion Lager, Peter Stuyvesant's, snooker, girls, first love (at least I thought it was) and of course football.

Zambia is a football crazed culture and I was introduced to this magical game by playing in the parks with anyone who showed up. We played in bare feet and played for hours. I was the guy with the ball so I was very popular with all the kids in the park. The kids without balls would make them by winding up old plastic bags tightly and while not perfect they were a perfect substitute after all it was football and the dreams invoked through the voice of Dennis Liwewe.

Dennis Liwewe is Zambia's legendary voice of football. It is so fun to go on YouTube and listen to him as it brings back memories of sitting in my backyard at 11 Chisimba Falls Drive listening to him call the games, simply magic!

I was introduced to Liverpool by my good friend Stephen and became a fan for life. It is not like we could watch or hear the games they played but he told stories and that was enough to become a fan. Stephen and I have reconnected through Facebook and that is good.

Our local heroes were the Kabwe Warriors, the whole City would pulse as our great Warriors played and as you walked the streets you could hear Dennis Liwewe call the games on the radio. "Gibby Zulu is moving the ball forward" They played out of The Railway Stadium (at least I think that was its name) It was not much to look at but it was a magic kingdom to many.

I only attended a few games in my time there and went with Stephen Manda. I called Stephen Ba Malamu which in Nyanja means Brother in Law. I looked up to Stephen as a big brother and he taught me a great deal about life, friendship and what it meant to be an African man. I have missed him and his family dearly over the years and have tried many times to locate him but I have not succeeded. The games were incredible live and the stadium pulsated with every move particularly those of Godfrey "Ucar" Chitalu.

Ucar was the best Zambian footballer of his era and only the Great Kalu has more followers. I wonder if Ucar played today what he would be? More Africans play abroad than they did in his day. He was simply magic on the ball and is said to have scored 107 goals in a season. He of course played for the National Team and was the Wayne Gretzky of his time with the young and old alike.

This African Cup for Zambia is full of such emotion because of the tragic crash off the coast of Gabon that killed 18 of the team including the Coach at the time Godfrey "Ucar" Chitalu.

I feel such a kinship with Zambia having spent many years there and having had such wonderful friendships. It taught me more than I could have ever imagined and it is part of my culture. With the arrival of Toronto FC I have remembered just how captivating the sport is and how it can reach across boundaries and unite people.

Godfrey Ucar Chitalu was a sports hero to me in the same ilk as John Ferguson, Jean Belliveau, Andre Dawson, La Grande Orange and Moises Alou.

I miss so many things that I experienced in my years in Kabwe specifically many of my friends but it taught me so much.

It also gave me a love of football. Chipolopolo forever

Now That Was Quite The Year

On December 30 Amanda and I sat by the fireplace with a glass of wine and talked about what we thought 2012 might be, the girls were busy with things and we had a couple of hours to get caught up and talk about the upcoming year, these are the times that mean so much but we get so few. It also connected us to the year that was.

I am thinking a rundown for each of us would help. Kaelan continues to be a joy despite becoming a 13 year old girl. For years I have been warned by parents of teenagers to "just wait" and I have lived in abject fear of my youngest daughter becoming the 4th incarnation of the Exorcist complete with spinning head and projectile pea soup and while at 13 and a half we are still "Breaking Dawn" on teenagerhood...so far so good.

Now that is not to say that there have not been moments where after she has left the room I have asked Amanda who that girl was? After all being made from our flesh fruit never falls too far from the tree and yes I think that I have lost my former spot of being the smartest guy in the world and hover somewhere close to babbling idiot but I love being around her and at this point I am still above being tolerated by her. I will continue to bask in that light as long as I can.

Kaelan is training for her second degree black belt and her training will start to become quite heavy now that January is here. I am proud that she continues as so many fall off after obtaining their black belt. I am hopeful that sharing martial arts will keep us close as we go through the tougher side of being a teenager.

Dance still plays an important part for her as well and she will begin pointe classes this winter to go along with her dance. She gets very excited about these classes and towers over me in her pointe shoes! This was the year where Kaelan surpassed Amanda in height. The moment we discovered this will be forever implanted in me. We were in our kitchen and Amanda and KK were standing next to each other and I asked them to stand back to back and yes she was taller, Kaelan squealed, I laughed......Amanda cried.....

A big accomplishment for KK was successfully completing her bronze medallion this fall, one more step to getting her life guarding. This is no small feat as it encompassed a 3 hour written exam and a 4 hour in pool test. I love that the 4 hour in pool test was not the challenge for her that it is for many. Can you say rock solid fit....

Claire...very soon we will reach the third anniversary of meeting her as it was this time three years ago that we were preparing for our first trip to meet her. She has been a busy girl as well. This was the year where she started out with her own journeys in dance and martial arts.

Amanda signed Claire up for dance at the same studio where Kaelan started when she was 3 and Claire, after an initial adjustment period now loves attending her Saturday morning classes. She proudly puts on her dance outfit on Saturday mornings and is happy to share her "moves" with Daddy and KK. This past Christmas' show was priceless and you could see just how much she has grown since starting.

Our little ninja also loves going to the Dojang. Believe it or not I was trying not to have her start until she was about 5 but I was over ruled by 3 women. Amanda, Kaelan and Kyra. Kyra is a young woman at DeSantos who is an Instructor and 3rd Degree black belt, I was a proud team member with her this year when I obtained my belt and Kyra got her 3rd. Claire and Kyra have developed quite the friendship and it was hers along with Amanda's and Kaelan's insistence that Claire began.

Claire is showing herself to be quite the character and is developing wonderfully.

Amanda, my incredible best friend and partner has had quite the busy year. Firstly being there as I go through all I do and picking up the pieces as we go and then having had the busiest work year of her life as well. She is the glue that holds it all together and is the voice of reason when there needs to be one. I am proud of her professional accomplishments this year and also so proud of the role she plays with us. She has a great capacity to nurture growth even when it may mean a big change in dynamics and I know there are very few people that can do that.

This was for me the busiest year I have ever had.

After obtaining my black belt I have continued to train and am now assisting in classes 2 days a week. For me this was an important part of my martial arts journey and one that has taught me a great deal. I must be honest and tell you that in June and July training was very hard and I struggled mentally with a emotional low that was hard to manage. There is such a high in getting your belt and going from such a high level of training to a normal level was very stressful. I had fallen in love with training, the fellowship that surrounded it and clearly the endorphins that kicked in regularly. I was also struggling with understanding just how I was to continue now that I have a herniated disc...Both KJN and Sean have been very helpful in helping me understand this part of my life and guided me through. It was a Saturday morning at about 6:30 when Sean ran with me and helped me understand how I could bring focus back and also understand just what I was going through emotionally.

From a work perspective 2011 was probably my best ever and I accomplished a great deal. If you can love your work then I can say that I love what I do. This culminated in me getting an Award that is given out to only the top 5% of employees in Wealth Management and will be heading to South Beach, Miami with Amanda and the other recipients this spring for a few days of celebration.

Last year I also was active in my friend Matthews run to become our Member of Parliament in Beaches East York. Like I had time...hence my comments about Amanda picking up after me. I was proud to canvass, make calls, help out in the campaign office when I could and very proud that Matthew won handily! It was a great experience for me and one that helped me grow. It was also a great experience for Kaelan, who helped out a bit and was able to see first hand how you can become engaged in helping your community become a better place. It felt good for me to do something that can impact my family and the community where we live.

So 2011 is behind us and the opportunity that is 2012 lies ahead waiting to be picked up and engaged, loved and pushed to the limit. Let end with gratitude: other than #1and 2 no particular order:

• Amanda our glue



• My girls, the depth of joy you bring could never have been imagined



• Opportunity: you keep walking in front of me and shouting grab me!



• Humility: I am frequently reminded by you



• Friendships, I am blessed with so many caring people who inspire me



• I learnt that being really busy is really good for me



• Max, I miss you



• Rum, nuf said



• Ability to provide



• Dance, I swear I should have been a dancer

So I am thinking that I will leave you with a quote:

"If at first you don't succeed then try, try again, Then Quit. There is no sense in becoming a fool over it"

WC Fields

Dance and You'll feel Betta

And so my journey to be awarded my blackbelt ended last Saturday evening when KJN Veronica DeSantos tied my belt and my journey as a Martial Artist began.

Our Black Belt Spectacular was a great eveing that around 350 friends and family shared with us. The 2 1/2 hours flew by and it was an evening that I will never forget. I was particularly proud to be chosen to perform my musical form which I designed to James Brown's song "Get up offa that thing" which Kaelan assisted me on stage. I was so proud to stand there with my team and it was quite overwhelming.

The evening was capped off with my friends and family coming back to celebrate and I was thrillled that KJN was able to join us for part of the evening.

So now what? Well I feel like my journey has just begun and I plan to continue to train and learn. I owe a debt to many that requires me to give back and I owe it to myself to honor my achievement. One of my proudest moments was walking around the circle of people who have their Black Belts and being congratulated by them, I felt sincere appreciation and fellowship.

Here is what I know for sure: I will train, I want to contribute, Kaelan wants to compete and I have a summer to get in even better shape so I can contribute to the 2012 balck belt candidates.

I leave you with a quote:

"Promise me that you will never forget me because if I thought you would I would never leave"

Winnie the Pooh

In The Moments

As I think back on the blogs that I wrote, at one point I wrote about being in the moment and how I had discovered the importance of that in terms of success. As Power Weekend was beginning to close Sir Sean talked about life happening in moments and that the weekend was a collection of moments, it was at that moment I knew what theme would guide this blog.

Our Power Weekend began with the traditional meal at a Japanese Restaurant where the majority of candidates collected to eat and hopefully burn off the nervous anticipation about the upcoming 43 hours that was to be our Black Belt Test. In my estimation it worked as one could hear laughter and conversation that only those who had become caring for each other have. It was the calm before the storm and it was more than I could have hoped for.

So let me share the moments that gave me strength during the most difficult, challenging and physically demanding thing I have ever done and believe me it was. I have been fortunate to run a full marathon (42kms) and played many sports but nothing has come even close.

The first moment was in the presentations by the higher belts who were testing for 3rd, 4th and 5th degrees. A young team mate going for his 3rd degree talked about how martial arts changed his life, gave it direction and purpose and paid tribute to our Master for being the architect. It was honest, heart felt and utterly inspiring.

Then there was the Tootoo! A surprise and a gift all at the same time from a young women who at the age of 18 has the respect of peers and elders that few could ever hope to have in their 50's. She wore this in response to her team mates giving her the nickname Barbie at team building just so we could get her goat.

And so it began with inspiration that could have cured any butterflies.

It was game time and the candidates were put through a highly demanding session that lasted.... Quite the moment.

And in those moments there was Princess Consuela..Sir Tran was at his very best and in those moments it was the advice to the candidates at a particularly challenging time that if we were to fail then have the courage to fail big!

You will note the lack of detail on matters and that is in respect of the process..another moment, trust the process.

Sir Norm " I changed my mind"

Hour 13 of training began after no sleep but some rest..another moment.

Sir Luca " We just need to get your blood flowing" are you kidding me?

Helping to teach the 8:30 am class and then rushing out to train in the sunshine and warmth of the park with the bo.

Cleaning up the neighborhood to the delight of many residents.

Cathy "I am going to push you" and you did in hour 18ish. That is what a great team mate does

Sidoshi's training session. "Who wants to volunteer"...The Professor "me" are you kidding me?

A young team mate that did more push ups than the few hundred we all did.

My mentee who overcame a big challenge to perform Hwa Rang when it appeared that he could not break through his challenge and he did and in doing so made me so proud that I held back tears.

Being taught to break boards by Master Jonathan, a two time World Champion.

Knowing that I had to keep it up and to push myself hard as I looked at two of my team mates who injured themselves and had to do less than they thought but did more than most ever could even after. I was not going to let them down.

Each Musical Form.

Kaelan coming to help the candidates on Saturday night and looking so confident and giving me a reassuring look as she walked on the floor.

The less than 2 hours sleep

The run: a collection of moments. Personally breaking through the doubt that I would not run the 5K and may need to walk a bit..I did not walk an inch and finished with a respectable time. Knowing that each candidates story was being sewn with their final steps in running the 5 K after less than 3 hours sleep and training that could fell a Clydesdale. The ache in my legs a reminder of all the work we had done. The young girl who was feeling less than well, running despite it.

Each candidate as they finished going back to collect those that were still out there, I had witnessed this last year but the emotion of being part of it is different. Some likely ran over 7kms + by the time they were done.

It was in these final stages as the team finished the 5K together that Jason said, "Tom you are quiet" I responded "Unlike me huh" when the truth be told I was so totally overcome with emotion that I was not only fighting back the emotions but I could not find words that seemed anywhere close to fitting the occasion.

On June 4th I will be awarded my First Degree Black Belt in Tae Kwon Do. I could not be more grateful. I am not a material man but this will a possession that has more value than anything I own.

To Amanda, thank you for your incredible support throughout and for not blinking about Power Weekend being on your Birthday and Mothers Day to boot. The is no greater love that I have ever felt.

Kaelan, I have no words just tears of happiness for you. You inspire me.

My Team mates: I could not be more proud and thank you for these moments this past year as we trained together.

All those Black Belts who helped out thank you so much for giving so much.

Sir Sean, Sir Winston, Sir Norm: Thanks do not come close only my actions going forward will. Thank you for all your help and care.

KJN: You transform people's lives in such a caring and positive way. I have never met anyone quite like you and am so grateful that I have. You took my life which was great and connect me to an even better one.

BRING IT

I cannot remember being as excited about an event as I am about Power Weekend and it starts at 5:00 PM tomorrow. I pace almost bouncing and I have a calmness that I have not felt since I played football. I am ready.

I had a massage tonight to loosen things up and just got out of the hot tub. I am confident about all the things that I need to know and I am looking forward to the physical challenge. I know that it will be unlike anything I have ever done and that gets me going.

Tonight I rest, get to bed and sleep a little longer. Tomorrow will be time to pack, organise and enjoy a last meal with my team mates.

Before I go to bed I am going to visualise as much as I can imagine will happen. The key for me will be staying in the moment and focusing on others. I am going to sing when it seems hardest and smile when it seems most bleak. I look forward to what it is that KJN and the others throw my way.

I want to add that I am very proud of the Professor and how he has handled an ACL issue that he manufactured in order to win the worst injury to recover from competition. He just had to do better than a herniated disc! I was worried that I may have to do this without him and am very happy I will not.

I will update once I am able to move after Power Weekend. Until then just know that I am having the time of my life.

OH, I'm a Lumberjack and I'm okay

I sleep all night and I work all day!

Amazing Grace

Each of us in our own way witnesses on a daily basis the gifts that are sent our way in through the universe and call it what you will, God, Allah, Jehova, Ja it really doesn't matter in the scheme of life.

We are bombarded on a daily basis by so many distractions that it can too often be difficult to see and far too difficult to sift through the distractions and fabrications that claim will bring you happiness. We are conditioned to think that happiness comes through material things and that happiness is a feeling that is a high and you have to continually recreate it to be happy. These things are manufactured and supported by those who sell things. Ever notice how you are constantly told or see media that suggests happiness comes through a pair of pants, a car, a trip, a gadget and even through personal hygiene.

This weekend is about slowing it down a bit and focusing on my girls. 2 years ago we were in Birobidjan, Russia waiting for May 1 to arrive and for Yulia to become our Claire. It was 2 years ago that I witnessed to the depths of my soul that love has no boundaries, no resistance, no prejudice, no preconceptions, no expectations: Love simply exists and I saw it in Kaelan's eyes the first moment she set eyes on her baby sister, I saw it in the gentle eyes that Amanda greeted Claire with and I felt it run through me as if I was reborn as I watched all three.

When you spar with someone you eventually learn patience and how to relax as your opponent passionately tries to hit you. Things slow down and a second seems like a minute and a minute seems like 10. You become aware of everything that surrounds you and you feel a sense of peacefulness that is remarkable despite the fact that someone is trying to kick you in the head.

This is something that you need to pay attention to because it has deep implications on life. I am trying so hard to slow life down to those moments and sift through all that bombards me on a daily basis and truly focus on what being happy truly means. I have not perfected this but being aware is at least the start.

Amazing grace is in the moments of your life that you miss because you are paying attention to what is in the way.

Amazing grace is in the way you children look at you and in their smiles and laughter.

Amazing grace is in the moment that someone reaches out with encouragement.

Amazing grace is in the moment that my heart melted as I looked into those green eyes.

Amazing grace followed Kaelan, Amanda, Claire and I in each moment of our journey to bring her into our family.

Amazing grace is in pushing your body to do something you thought not possible.

Amazing grace is in each breath we take, it is just in the recognition.

My Martial Art reinforces this each and every time I train.

My family is proof that happiness is in the moments and not in the having.

I leave you today with a quote from Buddha:

"On a long journey of human life, faith is the best of companions; it is the best refreshment on the journey and is the greatest property"

Team Building "Just add WATER"

This past weekend saw 27 people who will be testing for first degree, second degree, third and fifth degree get together in Niagara on the Lake to get to know each other and team build in preparation for our black belt test from May 6 to May 8 2011.

Now this isn't just any team or collection of individuals it is a collection of people ranging in age from 10 years old to mid fifties and coming together as a team is very important given what the 40 hours will be like in our tests. This is not an easy task.

Now add to this rain, lots of rain and I mean lots of rain, cold temperatures at night and wind that was hurricane like, such that it blew over furniture out doors and some people slept outside on a covered porch or in a tent. The balance camped out in rooms and floors in the house that we stayed in. Most hostels have more space than the 19 people had indoors but that is all part of the experience. This all means little sleep.

It was one of the better experiences of my life. Over the course of about 36 hours we came together as a solid and caring unit that I have no doubt is committed to each others success. Just please do not ask us to count! The amazing thing is that each person is an equal partner in this now, no matter the age or ranking.

Some of my highlights

• Car ride there- I got to know Alex and Lewis really well and had quality time with Jason and Tina


• Lewis' growth glowed


• Dave's determination


• Aliya hitting me


• Max's interview of Dave


• Paul-measure twice cut once


• Kyra and Jean Luc's leadership ability


• Cathy's approach (I think she may be more positive than me!)


• Andrews cooking and boundless sense of humor


• Master Johnathan's contributions


• Winston's incredible and deft intuition


• Coming to accept as a team we just can't count


• The rain, it made us better


• The mud, it made us better


• Thai Boxing training "the bomb"


• Taking part in the Buddhist Temple service (wow)


• The Daily Lama


• Just being part of this

We have three more weeks to go before we test and only 1 Saturday training left with Easter weekend coming up. After this weekend I have no doubt that we can do this as a team and each of us whether we are 10 or 50 something realise that we have each other and will need each other as we begin to deal with will at some point be the abyss of reason and need someone to make sense of it all for us.

We had some pretty special people prepare food for us: Rose, Tina, Ariana and Elizabeth, thank you all for that gift of time and help. Rose's family that allowed us to use the home, thank you! Sean and Ian you just keep giving.........KJN your vision and standards make it all work.

I leave you with a quote from Sir Winston Churchill...(Lewis swears he bar tends at the Salty Dog)

"I am easily satisfied with the very best"

KJN it feels more like your motto!